What-ifs.... Maybe...

‘ I know I promise not to call or sms you any more but I really can’t stopped thinking about you’ He text me this just now…
I really can’t figure out what he wants me to do. If he just wants to bed me, he already got what he wants. He already bed-ed me. What else does he wants out of me? I am already trying my best not to call and msg him. But somehow or rather, I found myself looking at my hp every now and then…. What am I really wishing for?? So what if he calls me? So what if he sms me? I really miss him…. Apart of me really wish that he can loves me in return…. I am no angel, I know that. I am just a slut who slps around with someone elses man. I feel downright cheap and dirty. But I still can’t stop myself thinking of the what-ifs and maybe situations. Maybe he really likes me? What if he gives up his 6 years of r/s to be with me? Maybe he really doesn’t mean to lie to me??? What if we are really meant to be together??? I am evil…. How can all these thoughts ever had crossed my mind? Why do I still find myself hoping to see him in msn?? Why do I still find myself wondering if he really likes me? But then, if he don’t likes me and just want to get into my skirt, why does he still wants to see me when he already got what he wants? Can anyone pls advise?

Adri