Lesson in Life: Expect the Unexpected

I have nv felt so terrible in a long time.... I'm really depressed beyond words... I dun feel like talking to anyone at all. When I'm at home, i just shut myself up in the room. I don't feel like eating either....I just want to stone... Just want to stare into the space... Just wanna wallow in self pity... Why must he still msg me??? Can't he just let me get on with my life.... Why must he play around with me... Is it coz he haven f**k enough of me yet? I want to get on with life. Mr KIA called me the past two days but I didn't answer. I know if he knew that i was so sad, he would put down all his things and rush over to be by my side... But this isn't what i want.... What i need now is peace and space of my own...Why can't i be more determined? Why can't i just ignore him when he msg me???? Maybe sub-conciously, I was actually hoping that he would still contact me... Why must life be so hard on me??? Why must I fall for someone only to find out that he has been lying to me since day one. All the things that he did for me was just a plot to get me into bed. Sometimes, i really wish that life would just end painlessly right now....I dun wanna face all the things that i'm facing.... I hate the way i am. I hate myself for falling for a jerk....I hate myself for crying so much for him...Sleep is the only comfort that i can get, but i have problems falling aslp... The moment I lie on the bed, memories of him keep coming back... Those times we had together.... Those times when he says he loves me... Those time when he showers me with oh-so-sweet kisses... Those time before i found out that he got a gf...Can someone teach me how to fix a broken heart??? Coz my heart is shattered right now.....

Signing off,
Crying Adri...